Have you guys ever heard of the phrase “Selfish people live longer?” My mom, Serena, used to say that all the time and I never understood what that meant. I used to be upset that my mom glorified being selfish. How could you just do things to only benefit you? You don’t care about anyone else? She was never a lovey dovey mom. She’s a cancer, so she was always tough. I would witness my mom make plans and sometimes cancel them that day, or look at her best friend calling her and purposely not answer the phone. I then came to the conclusion that she was evil. I now know that my mom is not evil and she was just practicing self-care.
The problem is not that people come to me for advice, favors, or a shoulder to cry on. The problem is when I need advice, a favor, or a shoulder to cry on no one is available. At this point my cup is empty. I continue to give and give and give from an empty as cup. Like literally, there is not a drop left. So, what happens to me when my cup is empty? I become drained. I’m sure you’ve heard something like “You can’t give from an empty cup.” Self-care is more than a face mask and meditation, it’s internal peace. Because I am drained and my cup is empty, I become stressed and mentally ill.
Never be afraid to protect your energy and keep your cup filled. Little things matter like saying “No” to going out with friends, or not answering your phone if you don’t feel like talking. Making the decision to not necessarily not care about someone else’s problems, but to not put too much energy into THEIR issues. You want to be healthy mentally. Take care you first and be like Serena. Remember, selfish people live longer.